Here’s a thought:
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly, it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
Could that picture in your mind’s eye be any less appealing? Could there be any worse a thought, than lying trapped in wait for the arrival of “the ice weasels“? I don’t think so, unless it were the gaping jaws of hell with it’s mouth wide open for you. That could be worse! I hope you get the point. Life is hard, but love … love can be harder still.
Have you ever noticed, there are a million, possibly a zillion songs written on the subject of love? No question about it, more prose, music, blood, sweat and tears have been given to the cause of love than any other. All things point to it. We can be consumed by it. Wars have been fought over it, dynasties have fallen while murder and all manner of self-destruction have been committed in the name of L – O – V – E.
From my point of view and no doubt for most of you as well, there’s no better feeling than being in love. I’m addicted to it’s taste, drawn to it’s powerful attractions. Nothing touches me deeper, nor penetrates my soul — my deepest inner-self — than does love. I want so much to be loved and to give it. I’m very selfish when it comes to it. I want it all. I am painfully in love with love. Shakespeare once wrote: we are consumed by that which we are nourished by. But love is so darn risky and fraught with pain and disappointment.
As a youngster I found little success in my pursuit of puppy love, but boy have I make up for it since! If you knew me you’d think I was on a marrython, an effort to break all records. I may be close to some, and I’m sure I’m the subject of gossip, and some ridicule because of it. It’s something I’m not proud of. To me there’s a reason marriage is called “an institution.” It drives me crazy!
Falling in it — and then failing at it — has got to be one of the cruelest and most painful experiences anyone can go through. I use the term “go through” loosely, because it implies there is actually an end to it. You go through it and then … you’re out! Bright light, sunshine! In my experience, there is no end, there is no finish, you are never out! Once love grabs hold of you it’s like a black hole, it won’t let go, there is no escape, doom and gloom, straight ahead!. Through the births of my children, through mistakes, heartbreak and misfortune I have failed miserably at this thing I value and know to be so important. Call me a man of constant sorrow. Call me a failure.
It wouldn’t be so bad if people fell in love with one another, but that’s not how it always works out. Often it’s the case that one person (person #1) falls in love with another. The other person (person #2) goes along — just because it feels so darn good to be loved — not to mention telling your friends all about it. Unfortunately though, as it usually turns out, person #2 (that’s the one you’ll recall not in love) tires of the charade and falls out of love, leaving person #1 feeling empty, dejected and alone. Often #2 will tell #1, “Hey, we can always be friends.” Baloney! Puhleese!! Friendship can often grow into love, but love can never degenerate into friendship. Then the sad cycle repeats itself all-over-again.
Some … think of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some … fool themselves, I guess
They’re not foolin’ me
I know it isn’t true …
Love hurts, Ooo-oo Love hurts*
The really lucky ones, and I’ve known a few, who find the ”one” person that falls in love with them, and visa versa — and then hang in there for better or worse — have my sincere admiration and congratulations. Lucky them! As everyone knows, that’s quite an accomplishment. Statistically half of all first marriages end in divorce. Failure rates for subsequent marriages are significantly worse. For those of us who have experienced the bittersweet taste of defeat, we’re just … well, by ourselves.
To all the girls who shared my life
Who now are living another life
I’m glad they came along
I dedicate this blog
Somehow I doubt they feel the same.
As always, thanks for stopping by! Your thoughts? Leave your comments below …
See my friend Bud’s post for sage advice on marriage and those “hoping to make a life of it”. After more than 40 years of wedded bliss, his thoughts are well worth a read.
*Words from Love Hurts – Nazareth – 1976